Algorithm (paraphrased from one of my favorite
sites, Wolfram Mathematics) – An algorithm is a specific set of instructions for carrying
out a procedure or solving a problem, usually with the requirement that the
procedure terminate at some point.
Ever seen those silly meme flow charts about
anything? Well friends, that’s an
algorithm. Check out one of my
all-time favorites from mi amiga
Shmitten Kitten:
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| She's so clever. Patronize her page. NOW! |
It’s actually the simplest of algorithms – “If
yes, do this. If no, do
that.” In the computing world,
algorithms are the cores of all operations. The complexities in which they make technology tick are
almost matched by the complexity of the algorithms formed in our brains.
Please forgive my amateur psychology hour here,
but I think I’m pretty on target.
The decisions we make are based on certain sets of rules that we create
for ourselves. Whether it’s how we
dress, what we eat, or even how we think about other people, we make these
judgments based on the conditions of the situation.
[I would totally make a ridiculous flow-chart
here about something, but my visual design-impaired brain just will not
function that way… I’ll leave that
to the professionals.]
Perhaps it’s my borderline Vulcan mindset these
days, but I’m constantly building and analyzing logic trees (a catchy term for
algorithm) to determine the proper responses to outside stimuli. I’m not quite Spock level logical,
thank goodness, and he was even half-human! I’m like if Spock and sexy Uhuru from the new movie had a
baby that looks like Leonard Nimoy…
On second thought, ouch.
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| I just couldn't pass this one up... (ganked from ScifiScoop.com) |
I’m constantly reminding myself that the world is
only logical in theory. In
practice, passion reigns supreme.
So I have to remind myself that certain situations require certain
responses, even though my logical instinct disagrees. If I gave any examples, you all would think I’m some kind of
robotic asshole, so I’ll pass on sharing those. Not like you don’t think that already, but I’d prefer not to
exacerbate rumors of my inability to love or show affection… That would totally defeat the purpose
of finding some romantic entanglements to distract myself from the mundane of
normalcy.
I digress…
I start my day with a simple algorithm that
determines my outlook for the day.
I know that at least 80% of you will agree, but only 10% of you will
admit to it.
I had two fantastic poops this morning. That does an awesome day make :).
~
I spent my weekend on total brain shutdown. I did, however, spend a fair chunk of
time trying to tweak my profiles to make me seem less like a “hippie-dink
artist type” and more like the “fun yet cerebral” type. And of course, I spent time sending the
requisite messages to strange women in hopes of a shared classy can or
two.
Fail.
I don’t know why, but none of these women seem
interested in messaging me back.
Perhaps they don’t find me the right kind of crazy for them?
I am 100% convinced that these dating sites are
solely for the purposes of finding a compatible type of crazy. There is a flaw in my logic though:
Most people don’t want to admit they’re crazy. Naturally, those people are the craziest of us all, but I
wouldn’t want to date them anyway.
Therefore, I make sure to let a little bit of my crazy appear in my
messages to them.
I’m also 100% convinced that if they can’t
appreciate a little insanity from time to time, then they should probably be
institutionalized.
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| I'm not this crazy, but I also don't have his abs. Or his recovered crackhead attitude... |
BUT!
(There’s always a but…)
I am going to go on my first meetup tonight. Naturally, it was a woman who messaged me
first. She’s younger than me,
which is kind of a turnoff. But
after two weeks of ridiculous blogging and failed attempts at starting a
conversation, I need to go have a drink with some random woman. She does not seem like the type that I
would want to get serious with, but she seems to tolerate my chronic need for
honesty. She says that she’s
amused by it, but we’ll see if I can keep my filters functioning after the
second beer…
At the very least, I will be satisfied by the
fact that I actually followed up and met an online date. Perhaps I’ll actually get to sleep in a
bed for the first time in weeks…
Wish me luck!
~
~
There is one last thing I’d like to discuss. Despite the fact I followed my own
instructions on making sure she’s not a serial killer,
there is one simple step you can take to make sure your body is found before it
starts to smell up the place.
Leave some kind of note or email a friend the
name and contact info of the person you’re meeting, along with WHERE you’re
meeting them. Example:
Jane Doe
215.555.3825
janesapsycho@gmail.com
Meeting @ Knife’s Dive Bar
How hard is that? Prudence is the mother of invention, not necessity.
Here’s to hoping I’ll be around to write another
post!
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